mmmm. promos. the all-scary thing that people cower and shiver at the mention of. hahaha and its finally arrived. in style, might i add. the day it all started, a nice beautiful storm raged just over jurong junior college. wonder if thats an omen. if so, good or bad? rain/water doesnt necessarily have to have negative connotations.. maybe the rain was washing away all stupidity in us so that we'll do exceptionally well.. anyway anyway.. cut the nonsense..

GP was okaaaay i guess. thanks to sid's promotional conversation.. =D all the stuff we chatted about were fulfilled prophecies.. and the one i prepared.. i had 4vs2 points.. hope that one goes well.. the passage was okaaay, but application question kinda sucked.. lack of time to concretely argue my points.. and had no idea how to format my answer.. lol..

chinese.. what am i supposed to say?! hahaha.. its the slackest subject ever available.. and the reason so many ppl do so well for it easily is becos its just giveaway subject ok.. u dont have to mug for it, just need to use some chinese in ur daily life and voila! there u go, ur chinese is a B.. hahaha and then make some effort to read more and write more, learn better phrases and there u go, ur A.. mmm helps if u are a melodramatic person who can come up with lovely plots for the oh-so-silly essays that we are still expected to write.. lolol.. my chinese paper was average.. im confident i will pass.. xD who cares about acing it..

physics- its scary cos ive counted 30m in an 80m total that is blank for paper 2.. and in paper 1 the last 6qns are anyhow shade, plus peppered thru the paper i know there are stuff i cant do.. but the only consolation is that i only need 44m out of the 140 total to pass my physics.. thats 30%, becos previously my grade is C already.. so hopefully after the 30m+12m minused.. i still have the about 90m out of 140m thats more or less in-tact.. then at least i would guarantee the one H1 pass here.. =X

papers: 3/6.
torture of the month; day: 1/7.
days to freedom: 6
days to iceskating with waynum/jacinda: 6
days to sentosa with michele/huiyi/weixian: 7


wheeeeeeeee. i cant wait. though it seems as though the 1st 2 count-ups are =/-ly horrid, the last few countdowns are pheeeeeeew. hahaha.. xD take care everybody and mug hard.. just a little bit more to go.. we shall all get thru this thing ok.. this fucked-up thing called PROMOTIONAL EXAMINATIONS, YEAR 1 STUDENTS, JURONG JUNIOR COLLEGE. 0_x

Labels: chinese, countdowns, depressed, gp, promos, sidhu, stress

just for fun colourgenics 26sept 1346.



Presently, you are trying to break away from a situation that is causing you considerable worry and concern. Things are getting on top of you and you are feeling depressed almost to breaking point. Obviously there must be a way out - but at this time the solution seems to be escaping you. You want to 'get away from it all' and as a consequence you appear to be sullen and introverted and refuse to get involved in any discussion or arguments which could aggravate the situation. Accept the fact that 'as you feel - so your body will respond' and 'pretend' to the world about you that everything is going beautifully as, if you act as if 'all is going well' everything will, whether you believe it or not, work out as you would like it to.

You are very self-sufficient and methodical. You presume to know where you are going but need to find a person who will recognise the way you are, not be too demanding and who is, as they say in Italy, 'Simpatico'.

It is hard for you to accept that your needs and desires are misunderstood by almost everyone within your sphere of influence and there is no one to rely on. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you'll have to make the best of things as they are.

Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You are fed up with other people trying to influence you and you also feel that it is necessary to protect yourself from the threat that your independence and freedom may be restricted. You would just like to be left alone.







toodles; off to mug physics. promos in 18hrs.

Labels: colourgenics, depressed, promos, stress

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Labels: quiz

I'm the girl
who will put her head on your shoulder,
not because I'm sleepy,
but because I want to be closer to you...
I'm the girl
who likes to be kissed in the rain,
more than in an expensive resturant...
I'm the girl
who says,
"Okay, but you owe me..." jokingly.
Not because I actually want something,
but because it means
I get to spend more time with you
and I care...
I'm the girl
you can take absolutely anywhere
and I will have fun
because it means I am spending time with you...
I'm the girl
who is incredibly picky,
but when I find someone I like
I want to spend the whole night
curled up in his arms...
I'm the girl
who never forgets
all the sweet little things
you do for me...
I'm the girl
who once I let you into my heart,
there's always a place there
with your name on it.
And even if we spend time apart,
I'm the girl
who never forgets you..
I'm the girl
who loves to end a hug
with a kiss..
I'm the girl
who you can talk to
about anything..
I'm the girl
who laughs at your jokes...
I'm the girl
who will brag about you
to all of my friends...
i'm the girl
who will listen to you talk...
I'm the girl
who loves it when you hug me
for no apparent reason...
I'm the girl
who loves it
when you hug me from behind
or kiss me on the cheek...
I'm the girl
who loves the feeling
when you take me by the hand
without saying a word...
I'm the girl
who loves you for you,
and doesn't care
what other people say
about us...

Labels: loneliness, love

mmm.. this time things ARE looking better.. i hope i can get over it.. haha..




You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless.. You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can 'do it' and what is more, you will - without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.

You need an atmosphere of peace and quiet and you would like to share a bond of understanding with the 'right person' - you have the belief that with the right person, your stress and anxiety could be minimised.

You are a perfectionist in everything that you put your hand to. You are demanding and very exacting in the standards you apply to your choice of colleagues and friends -perhaps you demand too much from people. That perfection you seek in a particular person is illusive - perhaps it does not even exist.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are trying to build up your own position and you resist all external influences. You insist that you are your own person and you will not tolerate any outside interference. Decisive and proud, you are true managerial material.











to be honest, im feeling really lonely right now. i cant stand it anymore! waiting for the right person to come along.. but im afraid of all my shadows from the past.. im so afraid i cant get over the barrier of myself even if i get to meet the right person.. thats been the stumbling block for all my past relationships.. my own barriers. sigh.

Labels: colourgenics, depressed, emo basket case, loneliness, sick, stress

mmm some same parts. can cross-refer.. and if i remember correctly some paragraphs are exactly same in a few tests..




You are constantly trying to make a favourable impression and endeavouring to be considered as that someone 'special'. You are pretty good at using various tactics and strategies that give the impression that you are in control. Maybe you are - but you are constantly watching to see whether or not your endeavours are truly appreciated. Be careful... just as 'you' may be endeavouring to influence others, 'they' may indeed be influencing you.

You are willing to try anything once. You 'need to be needed' and what is perhaps more important you 'need to need.' You can only feel close to a person or persons when you feel you can trust them, but this trust needs to be proven to you.

At times all of us would like to be like the ostrich - to be able to bury our heads in the sand and let the rest of the world go by, but unfortunately you can't do just that - you have to face up to reality. A little peace and quiet would be most acceptable at this time but if only one could turn a blind eye to the problems of the day! Tomorrow is another day and who knows, it could be 'today' (not tomorrow) that could be the first day of the rest of your life!

Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You don't like conflict and you endeavour to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company.







mmmm disclaimer- dont 100% trust these kinda things okay. just taking it as a gauge and reference.. might help me see where im going wrong since i cant even talk to people now.. in some sense.. ;DD so yeah..

hmm.. uhh oh! spent the weeknd slacking my ass off.. this totally sucks la.. rahhh.. still cant seem to get down to proper studying for promos.. grrrh. my math is in total shambles and so is my chem! imagine to pass chemistry i need 80%?! hahaha.. better start working hard starting tmr onwards! becos theres an integration test tmr morning bright and early which i am DEFINITELY WITHOUT DOUBT going to fail.. argh..


i shall start studying hard for promos. i must make sure i pass at least my 2 stronger H2 and all my H1 topics.. grhhh..
i shall start saving money. by the time i turn eighteen i must save enough money to see me thru my driving lessons.. i wanna be able to drive by 19.. as long as they dont change the laws i must learn driving fast! save up now for the lessons later. mmmhmm.. must must must save! ;DD


i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. i shall study hard. i shall save money. ;DDD






p/s im not over my emo phase, im just covering it up.. and im trying to solve things really really slowly.. bring my confidence back, bring my dignity back, fight for happiness. im strong, i can do this. its unlike me to give up. so i must fight on. i still love everybody.

Labels: depressed, emo basket case, overspending, promos, save money, slack, stress, tests

mmm.. went for lantern festival thingy... could have gone free, but i paid 5 bucks to take just the lantern, some candles and a lightstick. sigh. made a new discovery- lly and iymy are like ahem ahem ahem.. :D thats way cool la.. anyway me seb nic L jinyi loonyuan isabella went for walk around, and went to tennis courts to talk and play a little.. mmmhmm.. had fun i guess. its been a long time since ive done anything with a group of ctss 4A1-ers.. kinda miss them, but its good enough to have once in a whiles.. =] anyway i suspect im starting to feel better already, cos my test results are showing more positive stuff than before.. mm.. look at what they have to say this time..


COLOURGENICS TEST, 14TH SEPT 07 2324H.

You have a vivid imagination and this is good. Great inventors, explorers all had inventive, imaginative minds. Your friends and acquaintances may consider you over-imaginative and given to fantasy or day-dreaming. So what ? this is a part of your character and charm.

You are finding the present situation extremely demanding and you're having difficulty coping with it. A great deal of strain is involved and you would really like everyone and everything to leave you alone for a while, just so that you can put everything into perspective.

You feel unhappy because you feel that you are not able to obtain the co-operation of those around you. All you would like at this time would be to achieve harmony within your circle.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!





mmm. looks better already no? uh huh. can start looking forward to forming meaningful relationships with humans. ;DD
p/s: HAPPY EIGHTEENTH ANDRE AND HAPPY TWENTY-FIRST JEMIE! ;DD

Labels: birthdays, colourgenics, depressed, emo basket case, jj, lantern fest, overspending

this test was just taken at 2246h, 13sept. thur night.. feeling mixed-up and lost but i feel the test results show whatever im feeling very very accurately. thats why ive trusted the test for so many times already. this is about the 4th or 5th time im taking it..


COLOURGENICS 130907 2246H
It would appear that at this particular time of your life you are going through a tough time. You are feeling (or have recently felt) miserable and depressed and perhaps you are still feeling that way. Maybe all the trials and tribulations just aren't worth it. Your present anxieties could have been associated with either your 'private' or 'business' life - whatever ... what you really need at this time is to get away from it all, maybe a vacation - alone, or better still, perhaps with someone that you know really cares for you, someone who appreciates you - not for what you have but for who you are. A short vacation may be all you need to afford you the time to recover and to get back to your normal vital self.

Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbours and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.

You lack confidence and that is a great pity because deep down you are indeed a warm caring person. This lack of confidence is making you wary of being drawn into any open discussion or conflict and so you feel as if you should let matters lie and leave well alone. But there may be a pleasant surprise in store for you. You are beginning to grow and very soon - sooner than you believed possible - this warm loving new you will be available for all to see and to appreciate.

You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress. You are carried away by other people's enthusiasm and looking for that idealised relationship, be it in a business or personal situation, which you are able to share with a mutual depth of understanding. You have lowered your defences in the past and you have been hurt, so you are now extremely wary of being exploited. You are still ready to trust people on the condition that they are prepared to offer you proof of their sincerity.

Matters are not all that they would appear to be and you are critical of the existing conditions which you feel are confused and disorganised. You are therefore looking for a modus operendi which will simplify the situation so that you will be able to see the 'trees in the woods'.






i sooo need time to sort myself out. and now is just the wrong time, plus i dont need more things added on to my dilemmas and longing. grrrh. i dont know what to say anymore. feeling more lonely than ever in my entire life.. surrounded by friends still, but i dont feel as much connection anymore.. that deep unspoken bond im supposed to have had with michele- seems like i have no idea how to tell her my deepest things anymore.. me and baoxian- i dont know, we're just like this crazy, have-fun couple but somehow we've never spoken about deepest secrets and perhaps as seen in my test results im just finding it hard to trust anyone, even my most trustable friends.. i dont mean to keep stuff, im just feeling really lost and i cant express myself.. ive always been able to express myself i guess, but somehow its been AGES since i could truly truly express my feelings.. somethings made me feel inferior and i cant even figure it out myself.. i dont know, i only know im a lost sheep right now.. and i dont know who can help me, except maybe God? but i guess i just really need to give myself to Him.. i admit i been neglecting my relationship with god in search of superficial ones.. i need some encouragement i guess, but i find it hard to let my defences down to anyone.. and seriously i probably just need time to sort it all out.. i know this post is super naggy and probably nobody wants to hear about this sob-story, but i just need an outlet to rant this. ignore if its just annoying kay. x(




take care everyone.. i hope i pull thru with promos in couple of weeks and my messed up heart.. pray for me and my well-being, and for me to patch things with my family and let it heal properly as well.. just to nag a bit more, my family thinks i dont care about them and with my self-centredness i think i appear to be callous towards them.. but i really pray for more understanding between us.. yupp..




pray for me!

Labels: alone, baoxian, depressed, emo basket case, God, michele, stress

been feeling rather emo-ish.. dont know how to explain or describe.. but i think i know the reason behind my emo-ness.. haha.. maybe the super highness is just a facade? maybe im just really really sad? it probably all falls under the heading "emotional".. just have a tonne of things in my mind with nobody i really trust to tell everything.. sometimes i feel like i am unable to completely let go and trust ppl.. maybe ive always been too guillible, trusting too much in ppl that i get bluffed too much.. discovered this colorgenics test on a friend's blog, and been doing it just to test my emotions at different various times.. i think its quite true at every time i take it.. the colours i choose are different according to my mood.. heres my current one..

COLOURGENICS TEST
You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

Being impulsive and irritable, your desires and needs are paramount. You do things with insufficient thought - with little regard to the consequences that may follow. As a consequence of this attitude, you may be experiencing stress and conflict.

You feel that you deserve far more than is being attributed to you, but there is no-one to whom you can turn to for sympathy and understanding. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you will have to make the best of things as they are.

Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.






no idea, but i feel horrible in any case. toodles, gonna wallow in emotions.

Labels: emo basket case

oooh. visited AOH alone, and ive realised that doing stuff, exploring places and having fun can be done alone! it totally rocked, my time there.. i met some cute guys (ns men on duty) i suppose.. but nobody to reali go for in a sense.. and besides i only interacted with a limited number of them.. but HEY! i shld have made the most of it.. cos seventeen is a great age to meet nsmen, plus im single and available and fabulous! hahaha.. shld have talked to them more, made more friends get more contacts.. pity, pity.. haha distinctly remember 2 of them, one called Justin (spotted at the BCTC on heritage trail), and one initials JH (interacted with him at the outfield sanitation unit. LOLOL) and he was the only guy manning any exhibit to bother interacting with me.. he asked if i had questions, then when i didnt have anything to ask he asked ME a question. hahaha that was funny.. ;DD but too bad i couldnt have spoken more to him.. awww.. he was darn good-looking man.. seriously, seriously, seriously. yeah. anyway i had fun on my own, despite the rain. but would have been nicer if there wasnt rain cos the flying fox, rappeling and SOC station was shut cos of the stupid weather.. but yeah, whatever then.. ;DD






and yes, i know i havent blogged in aaaaages. ;D

Labels: adventure, alone, AOH, downpour