this test was just taken at 2246h, 13sept. thur night.. feeling mixed-up and lost but i feel the test results show whatever im feeling very very accurately. thats why ive trusted the test for so many times already. this is about the 4th or 5th time im taking it..


COLOURGENICS 130907 2246H
It would appear that at this particular time of your life you are going through a tough time. You are feeling (or have recently felt) miserable and depressed and perhaps you are still feeling that way. Maybe all the trials and tribulations just aren't worth it. Your present anxieties could have been associated with either your 'private' or 'business' life - whatever ... what you really need at this time is to get away from it all, maybe a vacation - alone, or better still, perhaps with someone that you know really cares for you, someone who appreciates you - not for what you have but for who you are. A short vacation may be all you need to afford you the time to recover and to get back to your normal vital self.

Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbours and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.

You lack confidence and that is a great pity because deep down you are indeed a warm caring person. This lack of confidence is making you wary of being drawn into any open discussion or conflict and so you feel as if you should let matters lie and leave well alone. But there may be a pleasant surprise in store for you. You are beginning to grow and very soon - sooner than you believed possible - this warm loving new you will be available for all to see and to appreciate.

You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress. You are carried away by other people's enthusiasm and looking for that idealised relationship, be it in a business or personal situation, which you are able to share with a mutual depth of understanding. You have lowered your defences in the past and you have been hurt, so you are now extremely wary of being exploited. You are still ready to trust people on the condition that they are prepared to offer you proof of their sincerity.

Matters are not all that they would appear to be and you are critical of the existing conditions which you feel are confused and disorganised. You are therefore looking for a modus operendi which will simplify the situation so that you will be able to see the 'trees in the woods'.






i sooo need time to sort myself out. and now is just the wrong time, plus i dont need more things added on to my dilemmas and longing. grrrh. i dont know what to say anymore. feeling more lonely than ever in my entire life.. surrounded by friends still, but i dont feel as much connection anymore.. that deep unspoken bond im supposed to have had with michele- seems like i have no idea how to tell her my deepest things anymore.. me and baoxian- i dont know, we're just like this crazy, have-fun couple but somehow we've never spoken about deepest secrets and perhaps as seen in my test results im just finding it hard to trust anyone, even my most trustable friends.. i dont mean to keep stuff, im just feeling really lost and i cant express myself.. ive always been able to express myself i guess, but somehow its been AGES since i could truly truly express my feelings.. somethings made me feel inferior and i cant even figure it out myself.. i dont know, i only know im a lost sheep right now.. and i dont know who can help me, except maybe God? but i guess i just really need to give myself to Him.. i admit i been neglecting my relationship with god in search of superficial ones.. i need some encouragement i guess, but i find it hard to let my defences down to anyone.. and seriously i probably just need time to sort it all out.. i know this post is super naggy and probably nobody wants to hear about this sob-story, but i just need an outlet to rant this. ignore if its just annoying kay. x(




take care everyone.. i hope i pull thru with promos in couple of weeks and my messed up heart.. pray for me and my well-being, and for me to patch things with my family and let it heal properly as well.. just to nag a bit more, my family thinks i dont care about them and with my self-centredness i think i appear to be callous towards them.. but i really pray for more understanding between us.. yupp..




pray for me!

Labels: alone, baoxian, depressed, emo basket case, God, michele, stress

today was not bad.. lessons were boring as usual.. but went for movie and dinner with supersix after school.. we didnt wait for fok cos he had to be quarantined after A's oral.. he joined us after he was done.. watched die hard 4.0 and it was so exciting! yet scary at some parts la.. its kinda the perfect movie to watch with ur bf or a close guy friend if u havent got one.. haha.. adrenalin rush made me squeeze huifern's arm.. hahaa..

so anyway thot i would have to chiong home after the movie and ended up mum was in town and dad was nearby home having coffee.. so mum kinda said if i wanna have dinner just go home by 8pm, anything later than that i save my own skin shld i get into any trouble.. heres the best part.. i told her by 8.30, and i reached home 8.20.. then shortly after i had time to open the windows and on the lights, dad got home. phew! thank GOD man! talk about good timings yeah.. thank God i had the mind to decide to switch buses for once.. instead of 154 i took 30 and walked back.. and i was given just enough time to make me look like i've been home for a long while already.. hahaha.. thank God..


anw hockey tmr!! so exciting.. haha, hopefully i can make it for dinner with supersix tmr.. okays time to slp..

talking about progress report, haha how beautiful art thou, my grades. an Ultimate for chemistry, Excellent for math, Superb for Econs.. then B for GP, C for physics and Excellent for chinese.. =X horrible right.. failed 2.. hahaha.. feeling the stress yet?


oh my stupid nasal passageways are so blocked i cant hear and yet i cant blow the gross mucus out. HELP~!

au revoir~

ps 2 days to CHASE 07!! hope michele and jennifer can join us.. baobao is going! xD

Labels: chase 07, czb, hockey, michele, outing, overspending, sick, stress, supersix, svh, training

oooh.. YAY okay i shall start with friday.. morning my family left for batam holiday.. so they left me 30bucks.. for the 3 days they are gone..

anyway then i went to sch and stayed till like 7 plus almost 8 i think? soccer match with TPJC and they won THREENIL! finallys theres something to show.. and the thing is the players he put down werent the first-stringers kinda players.. like park played! and afrizal wasnt in the first team.. how unbelievable.. and the 1st goal was scored by no.14, then the next 2 was scored almost consecutively within 5 mins of each other by no. 17.. the guy with the yellow boots.. hahahah.. after the match slacked around and went to play bball until we couldnt see the ball.. ;DD then left and sat on the field for a little bit.. watched the silly rugby guys run around the field in a unified manner shouting stupid cheers.. then we [me michele darren yangping] left for jurong point.. (ps we took the same bus as jerry! hahaha woohhooo!!) haha headed to subway where i ordered my first sub! haha got cold cuts trio cos thats what amy ate the last time and i liked it.. then darren kop-ed a bite off my cold cuts.. he was like, "eh i see ur sandwich.." then edges nearer and grabs a bite off it.. hahaha.. anyways yeah so we stayed on after finishing our subs.. and just chit chatted in general.. i figured out the story behind yelay/steph and darren/jolene.. haha and they were discussing cheat tactics in basketball.. hahaha.. so anyway by 10 they were saying, eh lets leave.. hahaha.. and thats it for friday nite freedom.. how nice is that.. and when i got home, it was exactly 2230. where i came home to nobody.. and i just slacked online.. then fell aslp, woke up at 4? and nobody was home still.. went to shower and then lay down on the bed.. falling aslp, then around 4 plus amy got home.. and switched off my lights for me.. hahaha..

right now.. going to prepare for OD07 meeting.. gotta type out the things that i owe them.. so stupid.. hopefully they dont look at me and give the "you suck, u inefficient crap!" face later.. i knoe its true thou.. hahaha.. so anyway gonna be painting the stupid owens cardboards thingy.. and then go for OD meeting.. and then go back to painting? then after that give tuition.. after tuition hopefully can go out with ppl.. go town shopping or something.. or even buy my hockey stick today.. hahaha.. see how things go but i reali hope i can go town and do some shopping or catch a movie and stuff..

yeah.. im quite a content kid now la.. except that my studies are totally sucky.. but oh well.. ;DDD the other things are okaay.. except for studies and OD07.. so i wanna give up olympic dream.. should i be giving that up? i reali dont knoe.. i guess its the last leg of the race already.. after we finish with solicitation of sponsors there should be nothing major for us to do already.. maybe i can just stick thru with it..? haha hopefully..

ahhh graphing techniques math test on monday, wed is chemistry atomic structure and chemical bonding test.. wth.. full of tests coming up and i have no idea on these topics at all.. sigh.. ps. sidhu was dam scary during his lesson.. he actually was reali nice and in a great mood.. plus he praised me and jacinda for diligently colouring in our notes during PW lecture.. lol.. wth i was falling aslp during that lecture can.. wahahhas.. so lucky.. okok.. off to rush my OD report..

byees ppl.. hope i have a great weekend without people around okay.. hahaha..
take care.. will update again soon.. ;DD
LOVES EVERYBODY, sharon.


tag replies:

gary: hahhaa u lousy la.. stm.. got so old liao meh.. hahaha..

wayne: yeah u finally wanna give me ur link.. ;DD thanks for dropping by.. hugs too..

baoxian: haa yeah la finally updated le.. haha #22!! im still going insane.. hahaha.. ;DD

singchun: haha HELLOS.. thankew for dropping by.. why u tag as skye? =P the free movie tix was from my dad, some exclusive screening la.. haha i went with michele.. ;DD and we were sooo late.. hahaha..


ANYWAYS people.. please give me some hugs.. awwww.. its been stuck at that miserable number 27 since a long time ago!! hahaha.. ;DDD muacks.. cya guys around..

POST-POST-SCRIPT: HAPPIE BIRTHDAY TO EMILY!! hahaha you're turning 33 alr.. gosh.. hahaha time flies.. ;DD

Labels: #22, birthdays, busy, deadlines, math test, michele, OD2007, owens comm meeting, shopping spree, sidhu, soccer, tests

shall skip everything that has happened in the past 2 weeks and talk about the past 1 or 2 days.. cos the past 2 weeks were reali bad.. there was ups and downs, but much more downs in this period of time.. and i totally didnt have time to come here and blog about them.. so, here we go.

today, i have cancelled all my appointments and ignored all my commitments on the pretext of being sick. arthur is taking my place at the OD meeting, Mrs Khoo has cancelled tuition after i mentioned that im sick and am afraid of passing the germs.. so.. sigh one week of income gone, but a rest day for me. to spend more. hahaha.. so see, its good to keep myself occupied and work and everything cos thats where the income comes in and the lack of time to go spending happens.

but ahhh~ the throbbing headache just wont go awaaaaay! im annoyed.. and the stupid nose keeps on producing the excess mucus and whatevers responsible for producing phelgm is doing it too.. grrr~

anyways yesterday soccer played acjc.. and lost 4-nil. FOURNIL! omigosh can you believe that?!! FOUR-NIL FOURNIL FOURNIL! and to think i chionged cab down at 5pm just to watch them lose. T.T thou i dont think the cabfare of $3.50 was wasted.. at LEAST i got to watch him play.. ;DD smiles.

on the other hand, bball team thrashed acjc! wooooh. and almost everybody went to shave to near-skinheadness. wonder how leonard looks; his old hairstyle suited him perfectly. hahaha.

anyway anyways, wedness was the satayyy sale.. hm. i didnt exactly help out cos of my stupid busy schedule.. and then also feeling feverish the whole day.. after my programs ended i bought some 10 sticks of satay to eat and ended up giving 2 to baoxian.. then mich suddenly say wanna hang out when i was eating halfway., i was stunned la. haha cos we reali rarely hang out anymore and besides, its reali sudden. haha so since i wasnt feeling veri good, and theres no place to go we decided to hang out at the grand stand and chat about eyecandys and yanzhongdings. and just slacked there till she got so bored she was begging to leave.. hahaha plusplus she keep reminding me about my flushed face (cos i was feeling so cold i had to drape her jacket around me).. thats where the fever came in..

so thur morning, to the docs.. and back to jj for awhile to watch ecs.. then checked into the JJ Resort.. pretty much like those u find in malaysia where the rooms stink and are full of insects and the bed is springless, the pillows small and non-fluffy. also known as the sick bay. ;DD slept there for a few hours with shihui in the next bed.. and about 1.30 then decided we shld grab brunch and medicine then go home and rest. haha and i was so giddy i couldnt walk in a straight line without struggling! haha oh man.. thats about thur..


ooooops sorrie ive blabbed longer than i would torture ur eyes with, and its not even properly chronological.. haha cos i haven updated for so long i made up for it with a long post. =P (to be honest i think all my posts are long) hahahahaha..

tags
michele: HELLO! ;D i see you've dropped by.. haha pls update your blog okay okay you have updated ur blog.. wahahaha..

baoxian: yes yes, updated updated.. see (points to above) see? haha xb

shihui: haha okay okay its actually 2 weeks liao then i update.. wahahha.. lalala

gary: haha wahh in what way i look like a clever pig to u? xP i knoe u got stm la, but im not a piggie.. thou pigs are cute.. wahaha

zane: heyy zane.. yeah ive linked you.. update your blog alrite and link me too! hahaha



okay tata for now.. ~ (",)
loves

Labels: cancelled appts, CSLs, jj, JJ Resort, michele, sick, soccer